It Doesn't Start on Campus: Why Protecting Women Begins in Childhood
· Oct 4, 2026 ·
Content note: This post discusses sexual assault and child sexual abuse. Support resources are listed at the end.
In September, a former Cornell student filed a civil lawsuit alleging that seven fraternity members drugged and sexually assaulted her at a campus party in 2024. The men deny wrongdoing. No one was charged when the case was first reviewed, but nearly two years later, under the weight of national attention, the local prosecutor reopened it. The case, now known as the "Cornell 7," has sparked a wider conversation about sexual assault in America. For many of us, it echoes the #MeToo reckoning of nearly a decade ago, along with the familiar list of precautions women are told to take to stay safe.
But if we're honest, the threat of unwanted sexual contact often begins long before a woman can protect herself. For too many, it begins before she can even talk.
We talk about the threat of sexual assault as if it begins in a dorm room, at a party, or on a walk home at night. As if it happens to adults who made a wrong turn, drank too much, or trusted the wrong person. The prevention advice follows the same logic: watch your drink, don't go alone, learn self-defense, speak up sooner. That framework does two things. It quietly shifts responsibility away from the person who causes harm. And it leaves out America's youngest victims entirely.
Let's be real. The numbers tell us:
About 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 13 boys in the U.S. experience sexual abuse before age 18 (CDC).
Roughly one in three child victims is under 13 — too young, as RAINN puts it, for social media (RAINN).
Most victims are between 12 and 17 — the very years we start telling girls to "be careful."
Most children who are abused know the person who harmed them. It is rarely a stranger.
Many survivors experienced their first violation before they had words for their body parts, before they understood privacy, and before they could tell a trusted adult. Not because they didn't care, but because they didn't know it was wrong. They only knew it felt wrong.
You cannot set a boundary when no one has told you that you're allowed to have one.
That is the uncomfortable truth the Cornell case points to: we are having an adult conversation about a problem that often starts in childhood. By the time we reach campus hearings, Title IX investigations, and civil lawsuits, we are years downstream from where prevention needed to begin.
Four shifts we need to make
1. Put the work of prevention on adults, not children
The "precautions" narrative places the burden on potential victims. A toddler cannot be "more careful." Once we accept that, responsibility lands where it belongs: on those who cause harm, and on the communities that look away. Real prevention means adults creating safe environments and teaching bodily autonomy from the earliest ages:
A child can say no to a hug, even from a relative.
No adult should ever ask a child to keep a secret about touch.
If something feels uncomfortable, they will be believed.
2. Look closer to home
"Stranger danger" was never enough. Because most children are harmed by someone they know and trust, we have to be willing to have harder conversations about boundaries and safeguards within families, schools, faith communities, and youth programs. Asking a church, camp, or coach about their child-safety policies isn't an accusation. It's responsible care.
3. Give children the words, and give adults the will to listen
Age-appropriate body safety education isn't about sex. It's about ownership. A 4-year-old can learn the correct names for their body parts and that no one should ask them to keep a touch secret. A 7-year-old can learn the difference between a safe and an unsafe adult. Children who have accurate language are better able to tell someone when something is wrong.
But words only matter if someone listens. Survivors of every age describe the same fears: No one will believe me. I'll get in trouble. It will tear everything apart. When a 20-year-old Ivy League student struggles for two years to be heard, what does a 7-year-old conclude about her own chances?
4. Raise upstanders, not bystanders
Among the most troubling details in the Cornell allegations are reports that messages about the night circulated on social media and no one stepped in. We teach children to stand up against bullying in elementary school, then go silent about sexual harm until college orientation. That's far too late. Children can learn early that when someone is being hurt, the right thing to do is tell an adult and get help.
Why this matters to us
Our work is about supporting and empowering women in every season of life, from young girls finding their voice to women in their later years who are still carrying the weight of what happened long ago.
We see the whole timeline. We know the girl who was never taught she could say no. We know the college student who wonders whether she'll be believed. We know the mother who wants to raise her daughter differently, and the grandmother who is only now, decades later, naming what was done to her.
Prevention and healing are not separate efforts. When we equip the women in our community to speak openly, believe children, and confront their own stories, we interrupt harm for the next generation.
What you can do this week
Use correct anatomical names with the children in your life, without shame or giggles.
Replace "secrets" with "surprises." Surprises, like a birthday gift, are fun and get shared soon. Secrets that make you feel bad should always be told.
Ask questions of the schools, churches, and programs your children attend: Who supervises? Are adults ever alone with kids? How are concerns reported?
Practice believing. If a child or a woman discloses, start with: "Thank you for telling me. It's not your fault. I believe you."
Tend to your own story. If you're a survivor, healing is available at any age. You don't have to carry it alone.
Join us. Share your story, read about resources, or reach out to learn how you can support this work.
Bringing the conversation home
We cannot keep framing sexual violence as a women's safety issue that begins at 18. It is a child safety issue that begins at birth, and a women's healing issue that can last a lifetime.
The conversation sparked by the Cornell 7 matters. But let's not let it stay on campus. Let's bring it home: to pediatricians' offices, to preschools, to Sunday school classrooms, and to living rooms where children learn, long before they can fully talk about it, that their bodies belong to them.
Because by the time we tell a young woman to protect herself, for too many, the harm has already happened.
If you need support
RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-HOPE (4673), or chat at online.rainn.org
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453
Darkness to Light (d2l.org): prevention training for parents and youth-serving adults
Stop It Now: 1-888-773-8368, for confidential guidance if you're worried about a child's safety or someone's behavior
If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
*River and Vine recognizes the threat of sexual assault against males and does not minimize the need for reform or attention in this area. Because our mission is to support girls and women of all ages, we have focused our information on this group.
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